I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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