he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
