i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
