he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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