I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
