So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
