why didn't you poke me back
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
