dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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