She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Less talking, more tequila
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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