What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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