Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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