Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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