Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
