Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
