About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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