DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
