3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
