The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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