i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
