It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
