Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
