Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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