This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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