bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
