margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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