This is not my ceiling
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
