i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
