i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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