just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How external is "for external use only"?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
