you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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