I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
