Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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