i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
