You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
