He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
