i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
