Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize