I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
