Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
