Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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