yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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