I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
