She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
