i don't like sucking hair
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I did not marry a roomba.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
