I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
