Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
