Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
