I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
