the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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