There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
