Where are you?
In a non slutty way
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
