He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
